When thinking of things one would like to stick one’s dick in, the Fleshlight is probably the second or third thing that comes to mind. Maybe fourth, depending on how much you like blow jobs. Or assholes. Or vaginas. Fuck me, this opening isn’t going as well as I’d hoped.
Anyway, when thinking of inanimate objects that would be nice to stick a cock in, a Fleshlight is probably at the top of most people’s list. And for good reason.
The first fancy pants masturbator that I snagged for the boyfriend was a Tenga Fliphole Black. It looks all techy and sleek (what I like to call “geek chic”) and feels pretty damn good on the boyfriend’s business, but I was dying for him to fuck a Fleshlight.
That’s right, folks. I was dying for him to fuck one. Me. I get way more excited about his toys than he does. But whatever.
Not to say that he wasn’t at all interested. He’s just content to jerk off the same way he always has. Or to fuck me. Fucking lame, right? (Nope.)
So he wasn’t all “I must thrust my cock into a Fleshlight NAO PLZ.” But he had a passing curiosity. Thanks, Kevin Smith.
So that settled it…I was getting a Fleshlight for the boyfriend.
But which one?
Have you seen all of the textures and orifices and everything? There’s a fucking ridiculous number of choices you have to make when purchasing one of these things. Which is super cool because you can just create the best male masturbator for you, but I’m not great with decisions. Also, I don’t have a cock.
So…I just decided to go with the Stamina Training Unit. Now…according to the folks at Fleshlight…
The Fleshlight STU™ (Stamina Training Unit) masturbation product is a sex toy for men specifically designed to replicate the incredible sensation of sexual intercourse in order to help you find your rhythm and obtain peak sexual performance.
So…did I buy the Stamina Training Unit so that the boyfriend would last longer in bed? No. I did not. It could totally be used for that purpose, yes…but I just thought it would be super intense and feel extra nice on his dick.
Super intense? Definitely. The texture is basically a million little nubs.
Putting Fleshlight STU to the test
The first time the boyfriend used the Stamina Training Unit, he was unimpressed. The texture was much too intense for him. And not like “I can’t take it, I’m gonna come right now” intense, like “this is actually sort of uncomfortable for my penis” intense. And I…was so incredibly disappointed.
But wait, dear reader…don’t lose faith in the almighty Fleshlight yet. Because he’s a trooper and I’m kinda bossy, the STU was given another chance or three. And upon subsequent uses, it was no longer an uncomfortable experience. It was, in fact, quite pleasurable.
Now, if you’ve been here before, you may already know that the boyfriend is kind of a weirdo when it come to super awesome things to jerk off with. He didn’t like the Fliphole the first time he used it either. Now he’s a fan of both it and the Stamina Training Unit.
I can’t quite figure it out, and neither can he.
He thinks that maybe it just has something to do with his mood. See, I can jerk off whenever if you ask me to. I’m pretty awesome like that. But the boyfriend has to be in the right mood. So we think maybe he just wasn’t feeling it the first time he fucked the STU…because he’s certainly a fan now.
The Fleshlight STU, like all of the hard case Fleshlights, has a cap on the end that you can either loosen or tighten to control the amount of suction you want. A lovely feature, if you ask me.
All Fleshlights are made of Real Feel Super Skin®. While it doesn’t feel exactly like a flesh and blood pussy, it’s super soft and squishy and pretty much as close as you’re going to get when it comes to sex toys. All Fleshlights come with a couple little samples of Fleshlube.
The Stamina Training Unit is the only Fleshlight that comes in the “exclusive” gold case. Speaking of the cases…they’re ginormous. Like…ten inches tall. And it’s kinda heavy at about a pound and a half. No one is going to mistake one of these things for a flashlight. Also…for some reason Fleshlights are packaged in tins.
They aren’t discreet at all and I don’t understand the point, but whatever.
Other than that, it’s a bit noisy. If privacy is a concern of yours, turn on the stereo. Fleshlights aren’t super fun to clean, as you shouldn’t use soap. I suggest removing the sleeve after you’re done with it and running warm water through it. Don’t turn it inside out…you risk tearing shit and that’s no good.
Do make sure you let it air dry completely before putting it back into the case for storage. Dusting it with a bit of cornstarch on occasion will keep it feeling all fresh and like new. Oh, and stick with water-based lube, por favor. It won’t play nice with silicone or oil.
So…Fleshlights are awesome. I’m pretty sure that could be the entire text of every review ever. Even though the boyfriend and his penis didn’t think much of the Stamina Training Unit at first, they are now very good friends. If you are looking for a crazy intense texture, the Stamina Training Unit might be the Fleshlight for you. And even if it isn’t, you’re sure to find one that your dick will adore.